BEING SIFTED!

The time of sifting is upon us. I can recall those words spoken by Pastor Craig Norwood years ago when I was a brand-new believer. And it is more true today than ever before.

SIFT: examine (something) thoroughly so as to isolate that which is most important or useful.

The word sift in itself is pretty innocuous. We don't really think about it unless we are cooking. But when Pastor Norwood talked about sifting all those years ago, he was talking about God's people--BELIEVERS. Those have built that relationship (not religion) by accepting Christ into their lives and what He did by purchasing their salvation on the cross, dying for their sins and rising again to sit on the right hand of God the Father, interceding daily on our behalf.

Sifting is not a difficult process when you are talking about cooking. You place whatever is to be sifted in the device and turn the little crank or squeeze the handles, depending on the variety of sifter you use. The flour (or whatever is being sifted) comes out the bottom as a fine powder, all lumps or large particles gone.

But when you talk about sifting God's people, it is a more painful process. Think of Abraham in Genesis chapter 22: After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”

OUCH! That doesn't sound like it was much fun for Isaac and especially not for Abraham! For those who know "the rest of the story," because Abraham was faithful in doing what God asked, God provided a ram in the thicket to take Isaac's place as that offering.

Are we that faithful?

Are you going through difficult times? James 1: 2-4 tells us: "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

and Hebrews 12:4-11 says: "In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons."

 We all go through adversity of some type at some time in our lives. No one can ever claim to have it smooth and easy all the time. Even the person who wins the lottery and thinks life is going to be calm waters and smooth sailing, will come to realize that money can't buy happiness, as the old saying goes.

All you have to do is listen to the news, watch the inane "reality" television shows, or read the postings on social media to realize that for the most part people are not happy (and that they like to complain!).

So when you are in your "SIFTING" period, count it all joy, my brothers and sisters. God is preparing you for the kingdom and to be steadfast for him. That word is another that has an interesting definition: "resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering."

That's where I want to be! Resolute and dutifully firm and unwavering in my pursuit of Christ. That others may see that in me. Not that I am perfect and do not fall on my way in this life, but that I pick myself up, dust myself off and step forward again.

And I want to daily be reminded, that in my earthly sufferings, my sifting, God loves me and is in control.

Bring on the sifter God!

Being a better friend

A friend of my cousin shared about her in her blog "My Lackluster Life." I just had to share it here with you today.

Colleen

 

A Better Friend

 

An acquaintance of mine recently died. She was a vibrant, giving spirit and loved by many, many people. Funerals make me uncomfortable even when I was close to the deceased but even more so when I didn’t know them well. I didn’t go to her funeral for me. I went to her funeral as a show of support to other friends that were close to her. I’m glad I did because it was a beautiful service and she was memorialized well by her friends and family.
Speakers made us laugh and cry as they spoke of Brenda and all of her “-isms.” The recurring theme was her enormous heart and her amazing ability to be a friend. She always had time for coffee or a phone call, she always hand-selected the perfect gift, and she was fiercely loyal.
By nature, I am a crier and I hate it. Sappy commercials, weddings, you name it – I’ll tear up. I did a fairly good job holding it together until one of her closest friends began her eulogy. The pain in her voice was evident as she spoke of Brenda’s influence and support, the hilarious outtakes, and the unconditional love for her husband. But what she said next hung in the air and hasn’t left me since.
“She was a better friend to me than I was to her.”
Ouch.
What a confession. What a painful realization. To admit such a shortcoming in public takes an enormous amount of bravery and humility.
I can’t remember much of what followed because I felt such a profound impact from those words. She was a better friend to me than I was to her.

From ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ by Bill Watterson – Universal Press Syndicate

As I walked away from the church, I questioned my own friendship skills and how I had handled myself over the past year. During some fairly significant life changes, I cut ties with several people I felt had given up on me. I still feel like it was the right thing to do but I wondered: had I been a better friend, would they have let me walk away so easily?
Dictionary.com defines ‘friend’ as:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard;
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter;
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile;
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.

This definition tells us what a friend is but leaves a pretty broad spectrum of interpretation on HOW to be a friend. Much like any relationship, we all have different needs so our expectations often stem from what we would or wouldn’t do. For some, being a friend may mean you must be available by phone anywhere, anytime. For others, it may mean that time and distance is irrelevant for picking up just where you left off when you meet again.
Examining my own actions, I touch base to check in, ask how things are going, offer words of encouragement when needed, and always ask how I can help. I’ve never been good and just getting in and doing something when it needed to be done – it’s been something I’ve learned to do over the years. When a friend I hadn’t seen since high school had a heart attack, I didn’t ask, I just brought dinner for her family after she got out of the hospital. I didn’t need anything in return because I knew it was appreciated.
What I’m not sure I ever did was live up to other’s expectations of what my friendship should look like.
Expectations are nasty little vermin that burrow into our subconscious and infect us. They break down relationships and cause fights. Unspoken, they can leave us feeling misunderstood, angry, and lonely. Let’s face it, if you get upset with someone for not meeting your expectations but you never actually verbalized them, you’re going to be awfully lonely. I’m not a mind reader and neither is anyone else.

Snoopy – From ‘Peanuts’ by Charles M. Schulz. United Feature Syndicate.

I think, perhaps, that friendship isn’t so much about what to do but what NOT to do. There are the girlfriend codes, bro codes, etc., that focus on the what-not-to-dos. Never cancel plans with your friends for a boyfriend/girlfriend; keep friend conversations confidential; be supportive and don’t say “I told you so”; if you come together, leave together; and never, EVER, hook up with your friend’s ex.
The definition of an enemy is one who feels hatred towards, intends injury to, or opposes the interests of another. So if your so-called friend takes action that injures you, does that automatically make them an enemy? Perhaps.
The bible talks quite a bit about loving thy enemy but I think that energy is placed in the wrong area. Many leadership assessments, like Strengths Finders 2.0, tell you to quit focusing on your weaknesses, start focusing on building your strengths, and surround yourself with people that complement those strengths or fill in for your weaknesses. This practice can apply quite nicely to friendships, me thinks.
I am learning to surround myself with those that have weathered the test of time and continue to show support based not on what they do but what they don’t do. They don’t get mad at me when I’m buried in school work and don’t call. They don’t get upset with me if I don’t confide in the marital problems I’ve been having. They don’t call my ex to get his side of the story after we broke up. Those are going to be the friendships I focus on.

After careful thought and consideration, I’ve come up with my own take on what it means to be a friend and I believe it’s really quite simple: Be there as best as you can.
Conversely, we all need to acknowledge we are limited in our ability to be a friend and recognize those limitations in others. Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes we are distracted. Sometimes we don’t know how we’re needed.
I keep Brenda’s funeral program tacked to my wall as a reminder to be a better friend. To not intentionally harm those I love and apologize immediately when I do. I wish I had known Brenda better than I did but I have people in my life I can focus on to be the type of friend she was to others.
Rest in peace, Brenda. May your legacy live on in better friendships.